Ten things I wish I could say to ten different people right now:

1. I'm never going to open up to you. To be completely honest, you're much too hot for me to trust you.

2. I wish you'd call. You yell at me about not communicating, and then you pull this shit. It's hypocritical and I hate you for it.

3. I wish that after high school ended we hadn't lost touch. Talking to you makes me remember that even though we were fucked up, we still had each other.

4. I'm never going to the person you want me to be.

5. You're a really nice guy, but to be honest, you confuse me.

6. I wish I could be totally honest with you. I'm afraid that it would screw things up, and it scares me.

7. I don't understand why you're still with him. He treats you terribly, he treats your family terribly, and yet you think he's the bees knees. It makes no sense.

8. Some days I think that you have nothing going on upstairs. Seriously, stop being a ditz, its unbecoming.

9. I wish you lived closer. I'd never leave your side, you complete my life.

10. I wish I had never known you.

Nine things about myself:

1. I'm lonely. I'm much more lonely than I look.

2. I can quote movies like nobody's business.

3. I'm entirely convinced that I'm not pretty, and no one can tell me otherwise. The more you compliment me, the more I don't believe you.

4. I give you one chance in life with me, and if you mess it up, I honestly won't trust you.

5. Mock my beliefs all you want, but most of my political views are actually deep rooted in my Catholic faith.

6. I think that people who don't vote should have their rights taken away.

7. More than anything, I just want to settle down.

8. I don't mind occasional drug use, but if you make a life out of it, contrary to popular belief, I think you're ridiculous.

9. I'm nostalgic for my very young childhood.

Eight ways to win my heart:

1. Know when to leave me alone.

2. Don't ever try to say that I've had a hard life and console me about it. I know my life was hard, I don't need you to keep telling me.

3. If you're going to get me a present, make it unique, something that you actually think about. The same teddy bear two years running for Valentine's Day is a turn off.

4. Be a friend, but also make me think I'm wanted now and again. I won't believe, but it's still nice to hear.

5. Don't be a hypocrite. It pisses me off like you won't believe.

6. Don't preach at me. I can take criticism, but there is a difference between constructive criticism and being an ass.

7. Don't pretend like you know who I am deep down inside right after we've met each other. There's no way you could know in a few months what it took me years to cope with.

8. Love me for who I really am.

Seven things that cross my mind a lot:

1. where I can live

2. finding a job

3. relationship problems

4. where I can actually get married

5. music

6. going home, and not the home everyone thinks I mean.

7. that my ass is huge.

Six things I do before I fall asleep:

1. get comfy

2. find my pillows

3. find my iPod

4. decide if I want the couch or the floor

5. grab Ogwali

6. pass out

Five people who mean a lot to me:

1. Tish

2. Dre

3. Will

4. Matt

5. Maddie

Four things I’m wearing right now:

1. Gir t-shirt

2. Sweatpants

3. tanktop

4. undies

Three songs that I listen to often:

1. A Fine Frenzy- Almost Lover

2. Dashboard Confessional- Vindicated

3. If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys

Two things I want to do before I die:

1. Settle down

2. Go to the Holy Land

One confession:

1. I second guess myself more than I admit.